Thursday, February 18, 2016


Today is my oldest child's last day before he becomes a teenager.  It's a time of mixed emotions around here for all of us.  I have a lot of thoughts about tomorrow, and they are difficult to articulate, especially to a boy who told me the other day that he's not ready to be a teenager.

I'm excited for my son. He's an amazing person,and he's been a wonderful boy.  He's on his way to being a incredible man. It's not an easy journey, and some days have been downright miserable.  In spite of all the frustration and growing pains, he's doing beautifully.  He may be a bit lazy with his school work, but his heart is strong and caring.  He fights terribly with his little brother many days, and when he thinks I'm not looking, he can be so sweet and encouraging to him. When he holds his baby sister gently in man sized hands, my heart melts.

It's a time for me to learn some new tricks, as well.  I am, for the first time in my life, trying to understand the mind of a teenage boy.I'm learning to let go and to teach him how to be independent.  I'm stepping back and letting him make mistakes, even when it hurts my heart.  I'm giving him more and more freedom, and at the same time, I'm trying to teach him that it comes with even more responsibilities.  While I work on all of these new skills, I am also caring for an infant and eight year old.  It's like coming full circle and walking on charted ground at the same time.

Today, I;m working to wrap my head around the idea that I will be the parent to a teenager, a third grader, and a baby, all at once.  Tomorrow, I celebrate my oldest child. The next day, I will likely be wondering how on earth I'll figure this all out, which is what I do most days.

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