Thursday, February 19, 2015

Saturday's revelation

Saturday, my eldest, Gavin and I spent time together just the two of us.  We talked about how he felt about his great-grandmother, how to organize kitchen drawers, things he's noticed about his little brother, his relationship with his father, and many other things.  It was such a different experience for both of us,

I learned a lot about my son that day.  He's funny, when he's relaxed and not trying to impress anyone. He's capable of incredibly compassionate observations about his peers, and he worries, to great excess, about his little brother.  I was a little shocked to discover that I really like the person he is becoming. I've always loved him, but this is new.  This is someone who I would be friends with, who I would invite into my life, even if he weren't my son.

He turns 12 today, and he's looking more like the version of his father I met 18 years ago every day. He makes me crazy when he won't put more effort into his school work or his trombone practice, and he enjoys pushing back against the house rules, but when all of that goes away, even for a minute, he is really amazing, even in his unfinished and constantly change state.

He is some of the best parts of myself, and of his father. He is all of our flaws, and he is uniquely his own being.  I am privileged to be part of his life and to witness his evolution into a man I know will be even more amazing than his father is.  This next year is his last before his teens start, and I feel strangely excited about it even as my peers mourn the loss of their babies.  What he turns himself into is not at all certain, but it will be interesting, because he is.

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