Monday, April 8, 2013

A lesson in giving up, or not, as the moment requires

You may have noticed that I'm in funk.  My writing schedule is erratic, due to the many demands on time lately and a lack of inspiration.  My topics are scattered, which really isn't that new, and I'm struggling to be spiritual.  I was thinking about abandoning this little project, as well as all of my other projects.  I'm not now, but making that decision was interesting.

I often use guided meditations to get started, especially when I'm struggling with anxiety, depression, or just too many thoughts.  While looking for a particular mp3 file on my computer to listen to, I ran across one I had downloaded from Ascension 101, but never listened to.  The topic of the podcast (not the expected meditation exercise) was retirement.

As I listened, I had an ominous feeling of "She's talking to me".  As thought through what I had heard and applied it to what I felt, I realized that my funk is only partially in me.  Yes, I'm tired. yes, I'm frustrated with not being where I want to be in my life. Yes, I am busy.  I am not, however, done with my work here.

Some where and some when, along the way, I picked up a negative little bug that incorporated itself into my energy, and it has been hiding behind my own fear and frustration in an effort to get me to stop moving forward.  I don't know, and don't care why it's there, but I can now see that some of the doubts and negative thoughts in my head weren't mine alone.  They belonged to this little thing and were meant to make me feel like I can't do anything.

Strangely, this experience dovetailed with a conversation I had with my husband last night.  He was, through the Socratic method, trying to get me to realize I needed to not give up, to work through this, and to lighten the hell up. Of course, as saying all of that isn't his style (we don't call him the Kite String for nothing), he had to get me to start thinking about it.

So, I'm not giving up right now.  The idea wasn't right for me, as it didn't fill me with a sense of rightness or lightness.  I am not done.  I still have lessons to learn, things to say, and experiences to share.  So, pardon me, while I figure out how to get rid of my hitchhiker, and stay tuned for whatever lesson that brings with it. I hope that if you are on the verge of giving up on something that you take a moment to ensure that retirement fills you or lightens you.  If it doesn't, then you should be looking for the reasons why.  If retiring an idea or endeavor is what's right for you, bless it and let it go.


  1. Glad you're staying, wonderful lady

  2. Thanks! Long time, no see. How have you been?

  3. Oh, busy and crazy. I try to keep up as I can

  4. Well, thanks. Hope things calm down a bit.


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