Sunday, March 24, 2013

Dichotomy in Pagan thought at 7 :30 a.m.

This morning, I read two pagan blog posts.  One was presented in such a way that I immediately had to embrace the message, as that message has been mine: let's not bash Christianity.  The other asked why so many Pagans embrace irrational ideas, which immediately put my back up. It's funny how in the space of only a couple of minutes, I can could have such different reactions to my fellow Pagan bloggers.

I'm trying really hard in my daily life to embrace new experiences  to remember that every person has a rational reason for their faith, and to accept differences, even when I don't care for them.  To do otherwise is to try to control other people and mold them into me. I am trying to let go of anger (except when useful as a catalyst more creating change), jealousy, and fear (except when it's healthy- like being afraid of falling when high up, because my balance isn't great to begin with and my chance of falling is a little better than average).  There I days when I read Pagan blogs and feel such shame that people are using the banner to be just as judgmental and nasty as Westboro Baptist Church.  It makes me feel like I'm not a Pagan, but then I remind myself, Pagan isn't really one thing or another, it simply describes what I am not.

Other times, I am so amazed at the depth of love and understanding I see coming from other Pagan bloggers.  They are fighting for better civil rights, they are fighting oppression and misinformation, and they do it with such energy and clarity that I am a bit envious of them (and then I try to let that go).  They are what I aspire to be, and I hope that, in generations future, they are the examples held up of who we, as a community are becoming.

So, as I keep struggling to remake myself into a the person I want to be, I hope that you can bear with the ups and downs of that journey.  Some days I am euphoric.  Other days, I am despairing.  Most of the time, I am simply living my life and embracing what lessons I can recognize from it.  Today, I am split in half- half angry with the white, entitled judgement of what is and is not rational belief  and the other half joyous that a message I believe is ringing out through another voice.  I suspect it will be one of those days where I will be splitting in half again and again.  In that, I'm sure there is a lesson, too.

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