Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The mess

"Who is this person who belongs to this mess?"  -Dr. Larry Flienhardt on Numb3rs

During incredibly busy weeks, like this one, I often wonder what happened to my house.  This morning, I zipped through making my bed, unloading and reloading the dishwasher, ran recycling out to the bin, picked up the living room, and straightened the bathroom all before 8 a.m., but my home still looks like a dresser and a kid's backpack exploded.

It's frustrating and overwhelming, not only because we can't seem to get a handle on being neater, but also because the mess reflects my inner turmoil.  It's one thing to be a mess on the inside where nobody has to know, and it's something quite different to have every aspect of your life reflect barely gripped chaos.  My mom will tell you that my mess is part of me, but I've typically had a more ordered inner space.  Right now, I can't find a calm, clear space in my world to save my life, and worse, I don't have time to do anything about it.

Until Friday afternoon, I don't have any free time.  The mess is growing and so is my frustration.  I'm torn between going back to bed with my sore throat and sleeping until I feel more energetic and slamming a Pepsi Max and cleaning house like a whirlwind.  I don't think either is the best answer.  I guess, for the moment, the best I can do is try to keep the mess from growing, clean what I can and forgive myself for not being as tidy as my mom.  This weekend, however, there are some noses to push to the grindstone.

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