Friday, February 22, 2013

The good and bad of Migraine Time

It's Migraine Time again.  The world is too bright, too loud and too abrupt for me now.  Everything is off balance and fuzzy.  Half of my face is numb, which causes me to stumble over the words I want to say. I'm freezing. My hands are shaking, and all the sparkles in my field of vision give the impression that Tinker Bell should be appearing any second.  On top of all of those symptoms, One half of my head hurts terribly and my thoughts race around until even I'm confused by them.

I could go take a migraine pill, but then I can't drive, and Gav still needs to be picked up from school.  The pills also make me sleepy and goofy.  I've also noticed that they don't stop the pain, they delay it.  So, I wait for this "event" to be over.  There is a broad pattern that they follow, but no exact formula.  In a day or two, this will be over.  My skin will no longer tingle or lack sensation.  My eye sight will return to the slightly out of focus normal, and I will catch up on all the things I didn't do while I was in pain.

It's not all bad.  The auras, the colored lights and sparks that I see, are pretty.  If I go to sleep, my dreams will be brightly colored, realistic, and hauntingly beautiful.  Migraines, at least for me, bring mood swings that range from despair to euphoria.  I also tend to be excessively creative during Migraine Time.  My favorite blog posts have been written during the days of migraine event.  My best art works were created just preceding or just following a migraine.  I sometimes find that the excessive activity in my brain during these events leads me to understand my world in brilliant flashes of understanding that rarely occur without the pain.

I wonder sometimes if certain illnesses are not really something being wrong inside of us, but another way in which we interact with the Universe around us.  Maybe diabetes is a sign that we've unbalanced our environments and our societies.  Maybe migraines are simply high powered computing sessions.  Maybe autoimmune disorders area message.  maybe I should just take a nap until these thoughts stop swirling around in my brain.

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