Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Gaslight, or How to Piss Me Off in One Easy Step

Have you ever experienced gaslighting? Have you ever watched a gaslighting?  It's rather sickening.  When used successfully against a victim, it cause them to be unable to trust their own perceptions of reality.  It's also a tactic used by emotional abusers to control their victims.  For those you who aren't familiar with gaslighting, here is a link to a rather succinct Wikipedia entry on the subject.

Nobody should have to live with anyone else constantly trying to manipulate them, but it's far worse when they are manipulated into doubting themselves.  Our perceptions of reality are sacred. If we can't trust ourselves, we can never trust anyone else.  If we don't know what reality is, we can't tell when we've been deceived  and that is dangerous to not only us, but everyone around us.

I've actually seen it used on quite a few people.  I've had people try to use it on me, and I can't stand it.  When I see people use this form of emotional abuse, more than any other, I get angry.  It makes me feel the urge to do everything I can to flip their lies back onto them, and usually, in a public fashion.  Go ahead, call me vindictive, but don't forget, sometimes Vengeance and Justice walk hand in hand, and I laugh when every time it happens.

I want to talk a couple minutes to ask you to look at couple of quick and dirty articles about emotional abuse.  This first one is written by a man as a message to women, and I think it's a great piece. The second is a list of emotionally abusive behaviors to be a aware of in your relationships.  Knowledge is power in this case.  Stay safe, trust yourself and never, ever settle for less than you deserve.  If you need help,  contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.


  1. Excellent post! I've never heard this practice referred to as "gaslighting" before, but this is EXACTLY the behaviour that has occurred in my oldest son's (now past - I hope) relationship with a 20-something girl over the past couple of years. These people seem to crave and thrive off of "chaos" and "manipulation"...creating it when things are "going smoothly". Thank you for mentioning the NDVH...abuse is something I have personally experienced and I am all for advocating awareness and ways to find help.

  2. Polly, lovely to see you posting again! I'm hoping that the more we talk about abusive behavior the less it will happen.


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