Today, I experienced temptation like I never had before. I was drawn in to fantasy and I want it so badly, but I also know that it wasn't meant for me. I'm talking about a house lifted straight from my most ambitious and "normal" dreams. While perfect one level, it is also not what we need. It has no character, only superficial things I've fantasized about. It is the house I've been programmed to want, and yet, it also clashes horribly with my values and needs.
This house has almost everything I've ever dreamed of having in a home: a big kitchen with granite counter tops sunlight streaming through the windows, a spacious laundry room, the garden tub I lust after, had a loft space that could be a TV area or a craft space. It was even decorated in colors I prefer. It's also about $100,000 more than I can safely afford. It's bigger than I dared to dream we could get, and frankly, more than we need. It's also a cookie cutter home, spaced too closely to the neighbors. Built by a home builder with checkered reputation and priced somewhat higher than it likely should be (and the sales person was skillfully manipulating our feelings on the subject), and it's in an area of the county that is experiencing a bit of political problem: the city of Martinez must decide whether or not to annex the land into city limits or leave it as county land dependent on county sheriff and firefighters. The fight, just getting started, is already heated and turning ugly. These homes are the center of the issue, as they are spaced to closely, are artificially high in price and not being purchased by people who are likely to make them permanent homes.
This house, while beautiful and perfect in some ways, I believe would be my downfall if purchased by us. It is so middle class stereotypical that you could feature it in a TV show as the generic all-American house. It would strain our finances, being that it is at the top end of what we would qualify for, and it's got very little yard, meaning our lives who be indoors, always. All these things are echoing through my mind, but still, I want it. I know it's not a good choice, but I can't stop thinking about it. This is temptation at it's worst.