Saturday, August 11, 2012

Searching for beauty

Saturday morning was a bit yucky.  Gavin, my nine year old, returned from his North Carolina adventure exhausted and missing Grammy and Papa. Aiden was bouncing off the walls, and Mitt Romney announced his running mate.  It only took a couple of hours before I started feeling pretty blue.  Then I discovered that Aiden birthday party is going to be a bust- joy.  As somebody with Major Depressive Disorder, a form of clinical depression, it doesn't always take much to tip the scales from coping to not.

Then a thought popped into my head, one that I found I didn't want to ignore: look for the beauty of this moment.  The beauty of the moment sank in. Gavin was laying beside me, warm and sleepy.  The sun was shining through the Birch tree outside my room, outline glossy green leaves with molten gold.  The house was quiet, a rare occurrence.  Life was actually pretty good.  The itching of my face, healing from a bad acne breakout, was sign that new skin is ready to make it's appearance, and it was almost time for Colin to come home.

Falling back into depression is easy, fighting to cope is hard, but it's possible.  Start small. Find one beautiful thing in the moment you are in and dwell there.  Then find something else, tiny things are just as beautiful and amazing as big things, and appreciate what you sense.  Take a deep breath, thank the Universe for it's beauty and yourself for seeing it.

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