There's a saying that a few Christian friends of mine are fond of that goes "God never gives you more than you can handle." On one hand, I want to believe in this idea, and on another level, I know that we often get in over our heads. After my first P.T.A. executive board meeting Sunday night (it went on for 3 and a half hours!), I'm afraid that I am in way over my head.
I'm trying really hard to find common ground with each member. I'm struggling to squash my reflexive jealousy and irritation with what I perceive as privileging. I'm forcing myself to remember that they want to help our kids get a good education. It's been an uncomfortable look at my community and myself.
I'm also thinking I should volunteer to more time. The very thought has me sweating and trying to breathe past sudden tightness in my chest. I'm also terribly afraid that sticking my neck out will lead to decapitation, and that nothing I do will help change anything for the better.
I guess the answer, for the moment is to take few deep breaths, work on processing my fear, and investigating possibilities. I'm going to try, and I'm going to remember what the Lorax said:
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not"