Thursday, July 26, 2012

New shoes

For several months, I had needed new shoes.  My old sneakers, purchased at least two years ago on clearance, were falling apart.  The lining what shredded, the toe box mesh was nearly broken through, and the back quarter had worn through to the point that the rigid plastic was showing and cracking. Being that money has been tight for a while for me, like many of you, I put off buying my shoes.  My husband and kids needed shoes, too, and frankly, I only wear mine when I go outside and I have other shoes I could wear (heeled sandals and high boots are acceptable everyday footwear, they just aren't as comfy or practical).

Sunday, we drove all the way out to Vacaville, where the outlet mall is, to look for work boots for my husband.  He still hasn't found what he's looking for, but I finally bought new shoes.  For 60% off of what they had been originally been, I got a pair of hiking boots from my favorite brand.  I was pretty excited, especially since I had resigned myself to paying full price for a pair (My bone problem makes buying shoes a pain since I have to make sure my orthotic and my foot fit without pinching, rubbing or slipping and while support the trouble area so bones don't rub together).

As I've been wearing these new shoes, I have realized that waiting so long to buy shoes had caused a lot of pain. Over the months, the pain in my ankles had become unbearable. I woke up each morning in pain; the first steps of the day were enough to make me want to cry, and being in pain, makes me grouchy.  I had been torturing myself. I could have lessened my pain if I had not told myself that everybody else needed things way more than I did.  My family suffered along with me, though; each time I was snappy and on edge because I was in pain, they hurt, too; They hurt for me as they watched those mornings when I hobbled around wincing with every step.

My desire to take care of my family backfired on me here. Not taking care of myself made everyone unhappy and made me suffer through a lot of unnecessary pain.  When we make the decision not to take care of ourselves, we really need to examine how much they really need that moment and weigh it against how much they need us in the long term.

2 comments:

  1. I do this too, hanging on to things way past the expiration date. You should see my underwear. Wait, no, you shouldn't. O__O

    The airplane rule "Place the oxygen mask on yourself first before assisting others" holds true for many situations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my God! I am laughing myself silly over this comment. It's good to know that my undies aren't the only ones that are shameful.

      Thanks for the giggle and the comment.

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