Happy Mother's Day

Mothering (not the act of having a child, but the responsibility and love put into caring for and teaching a child how to live, behave and participate in life) is older than humankind, but it has become underrated and disrespected.  It is a complex list of tasks and skills and emotional ups and downs, often passed down from one generation to another, transmitted orally between friends and strangers. The labor performed by mothers, is known as reproductive labor to those who study labor.  This has nothing to do with biological reproduction, but everything to do with the fact that this sort of labor is reproduced every day and over every generation. Cooking, cleaning, child and elder care (24 hours a day), nursing, teaching (everything from table manners to etiquette; reading, writing, mathematics, history, ethics, religion) are undervalued in terms of money, but without them, culture does not survive and society does not function.

For every woman who gives care to others, Happy Mother's Day.  Your labors are not in vain and there are people who notice and appreciate all the ways you touch lives.  If you are a mother, or just a person who mothers others, take pride in the things you do.  Without you, the world may still go around, but it wouldn't make sense.

For everyone else, take a moment to let these remarkable women in your life know that you appreciate them, even if they aren't YOUR mother.  Mothering is not just about biology, it's about compassion and responsibility and love.

There are many women I have to thank in my life for their time, caring and support. Happy Mother's Day, to all of you; without you, I could have never become who I am.

To my mother, thank you for expecting better for me.  Thank you for the support, and most of all, thanks for letting me be who I wanted to be; it couldn't have been easy.

To the many teachers I have had, thank you for all the lessons, both in and out of the classroom.  Thank you for the encouragement and opportunities you presented to me.

To all of the amazing mothers I have met in the course of being a mother myself: I am in awe of the grace, humor and strength you exhibit each and every day as you face the challenges of raising your children.

To my children and my husband, who have taken me on this journey, I love you and I hope that I live up to your expectations.

And of course, I cannot forget to thank the Divine Mother who has always been there for me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Think Twice, Speaking Once, and Apologize When Needed

In pursuit of a more compassionate life, I am challenging myself to think twice before I speak.  That way I can say what I mean and what I feel needs to be said, but I lessen the risk of being needlessly mean.  That doesn't mean that I will quietly sit their an d let people say stupid things around me, but it does mean that I will think about whether or not I need to comment.

This resolution comes from a nasty set of exchanges I had with somebody on a networking site.  I am still convinced that I am in the right and she is the wrong, but I needlessly made a comment that while true, was nasty and really didn't further my argument.  I apologized, but she felt it necessary to get the last dig in.  I learned my lesson, and didn't respond.  She refused to acknowledge that I might know what I was talking about (simply because she's a graduate student and I'm not, which is a case of economics, not brains or ambition).  Fine, her loss.  I'm done. She can feel insecure and picked on, I'm not going to let her attack me, but I'm also not going to feed it.  It does no good to anyone.

We have all said or done things that we wish we could take back, that is the nature of free speech.  We don't have to have many of these moments.  All it takes is a little reflection before opening one's mouth.  That way, we don't injure others, and hopefully, it will inspire others to not injure us.  Words can hurt; they have incredible power, and we all need to honor that.  Wield your words as carefully as you can so they do not harm anyone.  This one easy way to begin cultivating a more compassionate life.

Creating a culture of compassion

 I am sometimes struck by the violence inherent in our society, and it saddens me in ways that I can barely articulate.  From our slang to our entertainment, a callous violence permeates and taints nearly everything.  Our political leaders use violent metaphors, America wages war on terror, war on drugs, war on women.  Today, people are celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden with a vicious glee.  At school, my son was terrorized by another child who was pretending to kill him while playing "Black Ops".  I am constantly explaining historical violence to my children, in an effort to make them understand why some ideas are so important, but at the same time, I am cringing inside. Violence is everywhere.

I think the time is well past that we, as human beings, begin to create a conscious culture of compassion.  If we start, by making an effort to think about the violent words, images and ideas that we promote, I believe we can begin to tackle many of society's ills.  If we stop and think, "Am I harming anyone, including myself, with my actions?", could we begin to eliminate poverty, corruption, and bullying?  If violence ceases to be entertainment, can we recover compassion?  We must also think about the violence we do when we truly believe our own way of being or seeing of knowing our world is the only way.  Violence is not only physical, it is spiritual, it is intellectual.  It can, and does touch every part of our being.

If we seek to help those who need help, could we close most of the prisons? Could we, as a people, be stronger, and happier and healthier? I believe that compassion, to the Earth, to the environment, to all of the people of the world, is a viable path towards peace and prosperity for everyone, but it takes commitment at the personal level to do it.

I am begin to cull out the words of violence in my vocabulary.  I am questioning my actions, and I am teaching my children the same.  I invite you to join me in creating a culture of compassion.

P.S.  Check out WholeLiving.com to pledge to be more compassionate- today's challenge!

May Day!

Happy Beltane!  It's May Day and summer is on it's way.  I invite you to celebrate by secretly delivering flower's to your friend and neighbors, throw a barbecue or simply enjoy the outdoors and some seasonal fruits and veggies.  Simple celebrations and gatherings with friends are what this ancient holiday of fertility and joy is all about!