Friday, November 11, 2011

Warped perspective

Cold medicine does some funky stuff to my perspective.  Things keep shifting and distorting and generally everything seems a little cartoonish.  Then, again, that might be reality (hard to tell from the news lately what's real and what belongs in The Onion).

I'd love to impart some great wisdom earned while being sick, but that would be lying and I  don't do that.  The only things I have learned during my convalescence are these:

  • There is a valid reason for the warning stickers on cold medicine.  It is much harder to pay attention to your driving (especially around here with the terminally distracted population) while completely loaded.  I sure several people had rather scary near misses with me the other day.
  • 8 year old healers, while having great energy and good intentions, have weird ideas about what healing rituals should be.  My son spent a great deal of time singing to me while pouring water over my head and poking me with a stick.  It worked, but maybe because I was too scared to be "healed" again.
  • Pepperoni pizza remains the only food that doesn't taste like cardboard when stuffed up.  My beloved Jack Daniels sauce (a rip off of the TGIFriday's stuff) failed me in this department.  I hate "sick" foods like chicken noodle soup, orange juice and toast.
  • Sick 4 year olds steal ALL the blankets when they don't feel well.  They can also cover the entire top of a king sized mattress at once, in apparent defiance of all laws of physics.  They also can sweat their own body weight and not shrivel up.
  • The cool mist humidifier is a miraculous invention, even if it is in the shape of a blue penguin.
  • It is damn hard to be excited about anything (including being pre-approved for a home loan and putting in an offer on a place) when you are shaking with chills and unable to focus your eyes.  Sorry, honey, I know you were expecting to see me dancing for joy- trust me, it's happening on the inside.
  • My mom will always insist that I need to go to the doctor when I have a cough.
  • I need a self cleaning kitchen.  The dishes were still here, waiting for me, this morning.  Luckily, I still can't smell them, so they might get washed.
I have missed you all and am looking forward to getting back to my normal (okay, let's be honest, what passes for normal) self and schedule.  As the mental fog clears, I should have something to say about something at some point or something.  What was my point again?


  1. I am so sorry your so sick...I hope you and your little one feel better soon. Also don't worry about the dishes its not like thay have plans or anything you or someone else will get to them when ya'll get to them. Feel better :)

  2. Thanks, Delphi. I love the idea of my dishes being in hurry to get clean because they have hot dates.

    Velody- I'm so sorry, I accidentally deleted your comment while laughing and coughing. Here it is for the rest of you:

    Oh no! That doesn't sound pleasant at all. I had to laugh at your comment about a child taking up so much space defying physics.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Thanks for the wishes, ladies. I'm finally on the mend.

  3. Good that you are back! (This font is really tough to read. Why is it better after commenting? Am tempted to leave a "this is not a real comment" comment on every post so I can read what you're writing without herniating an optic nerve.)

  4. Diandra- I'm not sure what is up with the font. I'll change it. I thought it was because I was using my husband's netbook, but obviously not if you are having problems seeing it, too. Thanks and let me know if the new font is better.


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