Thursday, March 26, 2015

Chaos and absurdity

Heather and I make chaos and absurdity, especially if we are in the same room.  We find it all very amusing, but the people around us, save for Aiden, get exhausted.  Colin tends to fall asleep listening to us, which is a feat, because we are loud.  Gavin sits back and shakes his head.  Aiden soaks it all up and adds some his own chaos to the mix.

As fun as this all is, we do have to stop and find some calm afterwards. We get worn out, and filled with ideas and energy that are only useful later, when we've spent some time thinking and feeling our way through.

In any time of chaos, we can find the first glimmers of new ideas, new projects, and better ways of doing things, but we can't often make them into  anything lasting until we add some calm contemplation.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Unhealthy distractions

I think most of us have some unhealthy distractions we employ when we don't want to deal with our lives.  They can be things that seem pretty innocuous, except for the fact that they keep us from doing what we should be doing.  I read when I'm being distracted. I read all the time anyhow, but there is a subtle change in how I read that happens when I'm running away.

The subtly makes it easy for me to dismiss the behavior. It hides it from my husband.  I start getting obsessive about a type of story, an author, or series. I stay up reading. I use reading to avoid people and chores. I snap at anyone who dares to disturb my escapism. The house gets messy. I stop having conversations with people, I neglect relationships. I stop caring about things I normally care about.  From here, it's an easy slip into depression.

Coping strategies are great. They are the things that keep us sane when life falls apart, but we need to be very careful that we don't allow them to become unhealthy.   If something makes you feel good, that's wonderful, but if it starts to keep you from dealing things you need to get done (especially really unpleasant things that are going to come back and bite you in the backside), it's time to step back and decide if that coping strategy is really working. It might just be a way fro you to sweep problems under a metaphoric rug. We all know what happens when you sweep too much under the rug: it tends to get a little bumpy and trip you up.