Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Building walls

One of the repeated themes of this Mercury retrograde around me is boundaries.  Many people I know, myself included, are fighting to defend their boundaries after flagrant and unhappy violations.  Not only are they feeling violated, but they are also having difficulty communicating in such a way that effectively deals with the situation (a common effect of Mercury's apparent backwards motion).

Defending boundaries is complicated energy work. You don't want to be closed off to everything, but you don't want to be vulnerable, either. You often have to walk precariously through the process while blindfolded and with onlookers shouting "helpful" advice from all perspectives. So, what do we do?

I think the answer is something like Hadrian's Wall. It's really too short to keep things out, but i t certainly slowed down some invaders from time to time.  Couple that with some watchful sentries who can discourage some  incursions, and maybe we have a working solution.  We need borders and boundaries and safe places. We should not tolerate forceful invasion of our boundaries, for any reason (though I will admit that sometimes I simply lay down and let it happen because I am too tired of fighting against it). There is no doubt about that, but we should also be free to let in those energies and people that we wan to invite into our inner spaces. Without that ability, we cannot grow, progress or heal.

If your boundaries are being tested, I hope you can find a way to reinforce them. Nobody deserves to feel like their needs don't matter just because someone else doesn't agree. Aine O'Brien has some really great spells to help with this on her blog, so go take a look, if you need ideas or inspiration. The link is on my reading list.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Grounding children, not like that

Aiden has recently learned to ground himself, thanks to Heather.  She walked him through a visualization that made perfect sense to him, and it has really helped with his wildness, his attitude, and his mood.  He left Heather's side after the visualization and stretched out on the couch to read peacefully (which is not a normal sight).  It was amazing, and a little annoying. I've tried and tried to get him to mediate, visualize, or just breathe.

It's easy to forget that kids might have trouble processing the energies and emotions around them, because they appear to move on from things so quickly.  They often can't tell us what exactly they need, and we, as caregivers, are often distracted by the multitude of needs and desires they need us to take care of.

Really, many of us forget to ground ourselves, as well. We suck up all of the energies around us, and they influence us, but we don't always stop and think about them.  When we do, it's because we are overwhelmed.

I'm going to go forward from this trying to remember that he needs more down time, even if it is taken in two minute segments.  So far, it means less yelling and arguing, and more moments when we can all get what we need.